Meditation has a strange reputation. Many people do it, yet to some there is a stigma, a weirdness about it that deters people from starting to meditate. Despite the fact that many doctors and other health professionals recommend it (it comes in many guises) some people are still wary of it. Back in the day it used to be the province of hippies, buddhists and Hare Krishna monks. It was (falsely) aligned with cults and religions. There was a image of some bearded man sat crossed legged in front of burning incense with temple bells chiming in the background. I must admit to always wanting to meditate, but not being sure I was “doing it right”. I was too focused on the idea of meditation and its goals that I tried too hard to master it, master my mind and exercise ultimate control. Apparently I was doing it wrong! Who knew?!
Essentially, the goals of meditation is a mind at peace, a mind of clarity, only sometimes our pesky brains don't seem to want to play ball (well mine doesn't) and no sooner am I “in the zone” when along comes a thought, followed by another, then another, and then, yep you guessed it, self-flagellation of the mental kind, and (what I perceive to be) failure.
How To Meditate
It has occurred to me that, like journaling, there is no right or wrong way to meditate. It's completely personal. So personalise it to your heart's content. You don't want to sit crossed-legged in the lotus position? Then don't! Sit on a chair, on the edge of your bed, on your sofa, it really doesn't matter. I sometimes sit upright on my sofa or crossed legged on my bed. If you want to sit in the lotus position but you find it uncomfortable to sustain for more than a few minutes then maybe you might like to invest in a meditation cushion. They take over the role of the rolled up blanket under your tailbone and can help you achieve and maintain the position longer and in more comfort, but they are NOT an essential part of the meditation process.
You don't want to sit in silence? Then don't! There's a ton of free music just a search away on the internet, type in “meditation music” (I'm a huuuge fan of this channel on YouTube, sign up for their newsletter and get a free download to use when you are not online) then chose your music; whale song, running water, waves, thunder, rain, piano, chanting, the list is endless…
Some people can't meditate on their own, if that's you then you may benefit from guided meditation, this could be in the form of an app, an audio download or a CD.
I’ve used the Headspace app in the past, and I really recommend it. You can try it for a month for free then afterwards you pay either monthly or annually. One of the benefits of the app are the packs you can follow, or you can choose their daily meditation offering. Another great benefit is the kids option. I lost my partner a few years ago, naturally our daughter was hit hard by the death of her father (nine years old is no age to be losing your Dad, especially when you’re a card-carrying Daddy's Girl). The children's sessions are split up into age groups and are offered in terms of emotion; kindness, happiness, sleep, etc... and they are either three, six or nine minutes long. There was a distinct improvement in her coping mechanisms and general emotional well-being after a few days of using the app, and let's face it, if we can get our kids meditating at an early age, we'll be setting them up for long-term mental wellness as adults.
The Benefits Of Meditation
I read somewhere that while the object of meditation is clarity of mind, it does not necessarily need to be an absence of thought. This is what I struggled with at the beginning. A thought would pop into my mind, I'd latch on to it and off I'd go on my Alice in Wonderland style rabbit hole journey into my mind, then I'd beat myself up, and thus it continued. Frustrating didn't even begin to cover it. Now, however, I am gentler with myself, I recognise when I'm thinking and I imagine swiping it away as you would a fly from your face or a page on your tablet and I move on. Being in a place of mental clarity is the goal, not absence of thought.
Some people meditate as a means of tapping into their spirituality, but you don't have to be spiritual or indeed religious to benefit from this practice. Initially, I used meditation to get in touch with my inner being, my guardian angel, later I used it to visualise cleansing my chakras, and occasionally I still practice that. Nowadays I use a guided meditation for 20 minutes in the morning, just after I wake up. It sets me up for the day, although I can and frequently do, self-sabotage and check emails, Pinterest, Twitter etc... before I meditate, which somewhat dilutes the practice and its obvious benefits.
Sometimes my practice is fulfilling and I come out of it full of inspiration and joie de vivre, other times I find myself thinking or even singing in my head, which apparently is totally normal, but nevertheless irritating!
My Tips For Your Meditation Journey
So here some tips I recommend to start/continue with your meditation journey.
Check out and follow my Pinterest Meditation Board for some links to pages that I have found helpful in my meditation journey.
Life is a journey, not a destination.
Are you new to meditation? Do you struggle with thinking your way through a session? Share your experiences of meditation by leaving a comment below.
With love and light
Journaling (or “writing in your diary at the end of the day” as it was called when I was a little girl!) has always been around, and I dabbled a bit with it during my teens (my goodness, they were an interesting re-read!) but I restarted journaling in October 2016.
Initially, my journaling started out as a way of expressing gratitude, in that I was trying to channel the Law of Attraction and be grateful/thankful for some of the things that had happened each day. If you express and really feel grateful for something that has happened then the Universe will send more positive things your way.
The thinking is that what you focus on, you get. If you focus on a lack of good health (bad health) you’ll attract a lack of good health. If you focus on the lack in a relationship, you’ll attract more lack in your relationship. But if you focus on the good and positive things, no matter how small they are, you will being to shift your mental vibrations sufficiently to start attracting more positive things into your life. I love listening to and reading the teachings of Abraham Hicks. When I first heard the information portrayed in this way it was like a light had been turned on and things just started to make sense. I recommend searching for Abraham Hicks or The Law of Attraction (LOA) on YouTube, but this is one of channels I listen to the most.
One site I can't recommend highly enough is The Happy Journals, Fran Whitaker is an ex-Paralympian and a motivational speaker, once I found her site I stopped looking any further. So many other sites were all "do it this way" or "journaling, you're doing it wrong", but not Fran. Her take on it was just to do it. Start writing a journal. No preconceptions. No rules. Just write. It was soooo liberating! If you are new to journaling, or if you have started but think you are doing it wrong, Fran at The Happy Journals, will set you straight. She's an inspirational woman, who doesn't believe in limits or limiting thoughts, and she's funny too! I would add that while there are no constraints to what you write IN the book, I do recommend getting yourself something that will inspire you to write in it, something pretty, that will make writing your positive thoughts a pleasurable ritual, and that can be left by your bed.
Whenever YOU want to. I journal every evening before I go to sleep, I allow myself to replay the day in my head to find some thing that happened that inspired me and moved me to love it. It can be so banal that it would appear to anyone else reading it that "little things please little minds", but guess what? Who cares?
A little word to the wise here; don't journal after you've done your evening routine of night-cream, hand-cream, etc... your hands transfer the oils onto the page and your trusty ballpoint will likely go on strike, causing a certain degree of consternation (in my case some un-ladylike effing and blinding) and that is NOT the frame of mind you want to be in when writing your journal detailing all the positives and lovely parts of your day!